Up and down, down and up

I seem to manage to hover around the 70kg-line week after week. Well I guess considering the last few weeks of no pointing and next to no exercise I should be grateful and give myself a pat on the back for not going overboard too much! 

Incidentally, today's task in my CBT book is to give myself credit for what I accomplish, however small. 

For example, today I had my porridge breakfast and not Pret breakfast (well done!), I was in the office at 7.30am to get stuff out the way (nice one!) and I've not snacked yet (ok so there's nothing to snack on but still - keep up the good work!)

I am sooo close to be able to wear my aspirationals (my bag of size 12 trousers). I can do them up but I look ridiculous, muffin tops galore. And sitting down - don't even go there. 

But hey - a few months ago I couldn't even get them over my hips - so WELL DONE again for getting this far! 

Just remember this

As I'm sat here, panicking slightly over tonnes of work that need doing, just dying to reach for that comfort food calling me from the kitchen, I find myself repeating over and over what may well be my new mantra for the coming months:

If hunger isn't the problem, food is not the solution. 

Thanks to *Bitch Cakes* for that piece of wisdom!

Stuck

Forgive me scales for I have sinned. It's been 3 weeks since my last pointed day. 

All it took was a couple of stressful weeks (both work wise and personally) and a cold on top of that. I went for a two hour bike ride last Sat but apart from that I've done no exercise at all. With this being the last day of February I can only admit defeat in my swimming month - I only got half way. This means my reward that I was planning (to buy the next book in the Ladies Detective Agency series) will be moved to end of March. 

It makes me feel like giving up on the whole thing. But I know that all that will happen is that I'll throw it all out the window, gradually gain back the weight I've lost and then, in 6 months or a year's time, I'll have convinced myself that this time it's different, this time I can really do it. And I'll start again. So instead of waiting all those months and gaining back that weight I'm just going to fast forward to new-found resolve. I'm going to equip myself with some new tools and I've got a couple of new goals to work towards. 

I have an opportunity to fit 1,5h of walking in today and I'm going to take it. I've got a cold but walking isn't strenuous so it should be just fine. I'll load some new music on my iPod to bring on my walk to make it more interesting.

So, new tools. One of them is a book on dieting and CBT (cognitive behavioral therapy). My flatmate has recently lost about a stone in no time at all, and it all started with her reading an article by Judith S. Beck, on dieting and CBT. It's worked really well for my flatmate and has helped her reframe the way she thinks about food, especially tackling the feeling of being deprived and feelings of unfairness (why can some people eat whatever they want when I cant etc). She's lost weight pretty quickly, but she's definitely not on a crash diet - I see the food she prepares for lunch and dinner and it's all very healthy and nutritious stuff in sensible quantities. The key is that she now prepares food - she never used to. She would definitely be a take-away and a couple of glasses of wine per night kind of girl.  She now also sits down at the table at every meal - also a new habit for her. 

I read the article that started her weightloss, and I decided to give it a go - I bought the book "The Beck Diet Solution" (why do American diet books have to be hot pink with the word DIET in enormous letters on the cover???). The book gives you a task a day for 6 weeks to gradually re-train your brain to think like a thin person. So far I like what I've read (I'm only on day 2). A few points that have hit home are 

- Don't focus on unfairness. Pay attention to how thin people behave at meal times - is it really true that they can "eat whatever they want" or are they simply accustomed to limiting their food intake naturally? We went out for lunch with work yesterday and sure enough - the petite girls in the office seemed to automatically make healthier choices, without debate or hesitation. If I were to choose the same food they had I would have a long internal debate with myself first, but for these girls they just seemed to not see the unhealthy options. I look at my boyfriend who is naturally slim and he does the same thing - although being a guy he can obviously eat more, he still limits himself and also gets edgy if he doesn't get to exercise. This takes the mystery out of skinny people staying skinny for me - it means it's a behaviour which I can learn. I've obviously learned the opposite behaviour and I've practiced it for a long time - I'm really good at overeating ;). So using CBT to re-train my brain could be worth a go. 

- Get over your sense of feeling deprived. Think like this instead "I will either deprive myself of eating this chocolate, a sensation which will only last a few moments, or I will deprive myself of achieving my goal weight. Either way I'll end up feeling deprived - now which one is more important to me?

- Every time I give in I strengthen my tendency to give in. Every time I resist I strengthen my tendency to resist. I need to think about which muscle I want to strengthen - my giving-in muscle or my resistance muscle?

A new short term goal is a spa day with a friend of mine - we're planning to go next month. I'd like to feel comfortable in my swimwear for that date, so that's a bit of motivation to pick up where I left off.

On the exercise front I realised I've only got 10 weeks left to my half marathon. That means it's high time to plan a running program which focuses on sloooooowly building up the distance (to avoid shin splints).

Now all I need to do is cure myself of this annoying cold so I can actually start exercising again. 

Onwards and upwards!

Hmmm....

...very little activity on the exercise front lately....better get a swim in on Thursday morning or else! 

Scales are pointing down again, I've recovered the gain of last week. But this week I've already had pizza and icecream so we'll see if it lasts...Oh and chocolate. Both yesterday and today...eek!

Oh! The Valentines ball was fab! And I managed to pull off the outfit. I wonder if that's why I'm lacking motivation now - I feel more comfortable so the sense of urgency has gone. I still cant wear my "aspirationals" tho. The aspirationals are a bag of trousers in size 12 that I've kept under my bed for the past couple of years. I wonder what will happen first, me being able to wear them or them going out of fashion??

Not tracked my points for nearly 2 weeks now. So what am I paying for?? Silly girl...get back in to it!

My crooked progress chart for the week:

Losing focus

This week has started with a massive 12 hour day at work, and no walking yesterday or today. The rest of the week promises to continue in the same ridiculous fashion. I had a productive Monday, and that's always a nice feeling, but unfortunately I seem to operate on a one on, one off basis...so generally if my Monday was super productive, my Tuesday will be full of faff. There is so much to do...and right now I can't work up any interest in any of it. So many urgent things to attend to. Yawn. 

I can feel my focus swaying dangerously on the weightloss front. I feel hopeless at the prospect of not being allowed all the treats that I would normally use to make me feel better. And the scales showed a gain yesterday morning - well no wonder really considering I probably went over the points on five out of seven days last week! Yesterday I went over again, and today hasn't started in the healthiest of ways (altho nothing to disastrous, just not my normal porridge). With so much going on at work I feel like I just want to give in, and I'm sick of trying to whip myself in to doing more, eating better, exercising, being focused at work, being responsive, responsible, when I just want to flake out and skive off work and go home and sleep after finishing a tub of Ben&Jerrys...Yeah we have a major case of toys out of pram here.

Must try and focus on the positives. 

1. Yesterday my boyfriend interrupted my work rant with a surprised "Oh! I can really see the weight difference in your face now!" A rude interruption I was quick to forgive :)

2. Also yesterday I found out my boss thought I'd acted brilliantly on Friday - and that made me laugh with disbelief since on Friday I was absolutely ready to kill him with my own two hands (and possibly a USB cable) - he was so infuriating!! I felt bad for being such a grumpy cow all of Friday but apparently my boss mistook that for dedication and efficiency...

Out of shape

On Sat I went to get my outfit for the Valentines ball next week. It's a fairly "alternative" kind of event, so I'm not talking cocktail dress here. I found something along the lines of what I was after, and I just tried it on at home now as well. It looks cool and I think if I saw it on someone else, with the same body shape as me,  I wouldn't think they looked horrible or disgusting. But it's as if I can't come to terms with certain parts of my anatomy...

I'm not exactly a girly girl, and from the waist up I'm probably slightly androgynous looking - small tits, flat stomach (on good days;) short hair, and I'm tall-ish. But from the waist down I'm curvy as anything, with a proper pear shaped butt and curvy legs (whatever my weight, my legs are still hourglass-shape). I much prefer the slightly boyish look and I think the fact that I'm not one shape but two (two for one! something for everyone!) just doesn't look very good. Wearing anything too girly makes me feel incredibly uncomfortable, like a fraud and a clown. I'm sure there are deeply seated psychological explanations for this which may some day help to fund some therapist's vacation in the Caribbean. So checking myself out from behind made me whince slightly - I look like a such a woman. Bleurgh. It doesn't feel like me. I'm not after a sex change here or anything, far from it. But the curves, they're not me. I want to be flat, angular. Not skin and bones, but lean and toned. I know it's a bit of a joke considering my genes (my mum is far from angular), so really I should just try to accept it rather than being at war with myself. But it annoys me that I can't quite have either or - not a curvy woman's body (with boobs!!), and not an androgynous one.

Oh well, I have one week to go until it's time for the ball. Don't think I'll be able to achieve a great deal in terms of changing my shape by then! But I will at least try and keep the focus and keep up the exercise as I know that will help me feel more comfortable in my skin. Swimming has been great, and I also managed to get out for a lovely run this morning with my friends out in the country side - was so nice running along country roads, looking out over the snow-covered fields, in the pale winter sunshine! No travel and no socialising planned this week - work is looking like it could become absolutely ridiculous tho so I better make sure I don't let it stress me out too much, as that will no doubt make me turn to food for comfort.

Swim, swam, swum

I did it, I went swimming both on Weds and Thursday morning! It was not easy getting up (and once again I give praise to my sunrise lamp). I'm supposed to go on Sat morning as well, but thinking I need a lie in as it's been a while (I got up at 5.30 this morning and am currently sitting at the airport waiting for my Amsterdam flight). Going to my friend's house on Sat-Sun and we were planning a run or at the very least a looooong walk on Sun, so I'll get some exercise in. Starting to feel a little run down with long hours at work plus up early to train, so think a couple of days rest will do the trick. 

The swimming gives an annoyingly low amount of points (1,5 for 30 min!) but I can really feel it in my legs. And I'm starting to feel a hint of muscle tone in my abs and arms, and let me tell you that is a sweet sweet feeling!! I'm sure it's not actually noticable if you look at me, but I can feel the difference. It's very motivating. 

Saying that I've just had a huuuuge toasted sandwich at the airport, lol. Oh well. Travel etc etc (insert old excuse here). 

Snow swim

Oh how London suffers from a few inches of snow. Today I've at least managed to get in to the office using the crippled public transport system. Remarkable. 

The local swimming pool has reduced its opening hours due to the snow...um not quite sure how they figure that. Perhaps they want to go out and play like the rest of us? Anyways, the snow is now half melted, and hopefully tomorrow the pool will be open normal hours. I was hoping to get a swim in before work. 

The scales are showing a loss of 1.1kgs since last week, so I'm now juuust under 70kgs, officially. I should be really happy but I know I've been eating really badly over the past 3 days so it feels like this loss might turn in to a gain soon enough. It makes me really annoyed with myself. So I'm trying to muster up the "chaaaaarge" kind of attitude and power through the rest of the week with no excuses. There are a couple of potential pit-falls:

- drinks with ex colleagues on Wednesday

- spending the weekend with a friend - no doubt with lovely dinner and drinks

The weekend with my friend is something I'm really looking forward to, and I'm not sure how to approach it from a WW point of view. So far I've done no exercise this week and I'm already way over my points. I'm not keen on running for a few days yet as the pain in my shins is still noticeable. So I reckon swimming will have to replace the running as well. That means I should get 3 swim sessions in this week. I'm not able to go tonight as they close early. That leaves Weds and Thursday morning. Friday I fly to Amsterdam for the day. I could potentially get in a swim on Saturday morning before it's time to head out to my friend. Hm yes I just checked and they open at 7.30 am so no excuse really...

Ok so that's it

Weds - morning swim

Thurs - morning swim

Sat - morning swim

I'll also try and get a walk in on as many days as I can, gentle ones that hopefully won't be too hard on the shins. Will definitely walk tonight. 

Argh I so want to be in the flow of healthy eating and exercising again! I had it last week - what happened??

A hint of shin splints

Went for a run last night - a so called tempo run at about 80-85% of my max, for 15 min, then walk for 2, then another 15 min at tempo pace.  I noticed I had to run a bit harder than previously to get up to the right heart rate zone - is that a sign I'm getting fitter?? I hope so. 

I've had problems with shin splints on and off since my school days. Only in the past 2-3 years have I started paying proper attention to why I get them and how long they last. If you are lucky enough not to be familiar with shin splints, it's basically a painful condition in your shins, that can vary from mild to quite severe, and it could also turn in to a chronic condition where the only solution is operation. In runners (and certainly in me) it's generally caused by increasing the level of training too quickly. It feels like there are tiny weights in your shins pulling down every time your foot takes the impact of running, and it progressively gets worse until it's no longer possible to run. It can take weeks and months to heal. 

Last time I got them I invested in new trainers, also new shock absorbent insoles and I try to make sure I stretch out my calves properly every time I run. Despite this, and despite only running twice a week at the moment, last night when I ran I could feel a hint of pain on the front of my lower legs. Damnit!! I was trying so hard to be sensible this time...I'm thinking that perhaps my morning walks have added to the impact, even if I don't think of that as training really - hm maybe I should start wearing my running trainers on my way to work to make sure it doesn't get worse - at least they have proper cushioning. Maybe a quick calf stretch when I get to the office wouldn't go amiss either!

The annoying thing is that rest seems to be the only thing that makes shin splints go away. In light if this, I've decided to change back to the original plan for Feb, and do swimming instead of badminton. I'm going to try keeping up the running once or max twice a week as long as the shins aren't bothering me too much, but I think adding the extra impact of running around a badminton court will be asking for trouble. 

Damnit - I even had badminton dates already lined up for the next 2 weeks!

Yoga month complete.

That is all :)

Final yoga session tonight!

So that's almost it for yoga month. Final session this evening. It's been good. Interesting, challenging. 

What have I learned from my yoga month?

- I can touch my toes with just a little effort and determination - hello toes! 

- I can join fitness classes by my self, without having a friend come hold my hand..

- Yoga is a great way to feel completely present - something that doesn't happen often enough in my daily life

- The hamstrings in my right leg are waaaay tigher than the ones in my left - why??

Has yoga helped my weightloss? Probably. Each session has lasted 1.5h but as about 30 min of that is breathing exercises and relaxation I only count 1 hour, which is 2.5 activity points. Together with the running I feel like I've been getting a good, allround workout. 

Badminton month (a.k.a. February) is nearly upon us. It will be interesting to see what stepping up the cardio will do for the weightloss. I'm still trying to focus my efforts on this Valentines ball I'm going to. 2 weeks to go on Sat!

I've discovered that Thursdays are an excellent day to schedule exercise on...this way I've cleverly managed to avoid the boozy after work drinks that my work is so fond of. And I like them too, but it's not what my body needs right now. Since work tends to pick up the bill on these evenings I find it's twice as hard to pace myself - the next drink is on the table before I've finished the first one! I've had a couple of comments from the most dedicated drinkers in the office that I "never come out to play anymore". I wonder if they've noticed I've lost weight? 

Working through cravings

Have had a really tough couple of days at work. Things haven't been going our way and the general mood in the office has been stressed, irritable and fed up. Cue comfort food cravings. By lunchtime today I was feeling miserable and overwhelmed, craving a big fat Pret sandwich with cheese and mayo...I was getting desperate to binge on cheese and chocolate and was starting to feel quite upset that I couldn't have it, starting to make up excuses as to why I should be allowed, just this once. 

So I decided to try and find some low calorie alternatives, start with those and if I still felt like I HAD to have something else then I would be allowed. So I ate my low-fat macaroni and cheese meal that luckily was waiting for me in the fridge (I would NOT have been able to manage the shops in that state!) and with some of the hunger and worry drowned in low fat cheese I headed for M&S. I browsed the chocolate isles for a good 10 minutes but in the end settled on low fat chocolate mousse. It was surprisingly yummy and at the end of my lunch+ dessert I felt like I'd had a treat and the whole thing had only set me back 6.5 points! Result!! 

I'm really happy that I didn't just fall back in to my old pattern of going to Pret and get a 13 (THIRTEEEEEN!) point sandwich and a chocolate brownie and, and, and...but instead I managed to choose some more sensible treats which won't ruin my points for the day. So now I know there are always options, and I can still feel satisfied at the end of it. Hurray!

Just logging my run...

...which consisted of 12 min warmup, 6x400 sprints, and 10 min light jog at the end. The high point was definitely being raced by a cabbie when I was sprinting like a mad ferret - it really did help push me the last few meters and put a smile on my face. 

Oh also I've noticed something fun - my jeans pockets have got bigger...my phone now rattles around in there compared to before...hey since I've not lost enough to actually wear a size smaller I guess it's the little victories that count ;)

As I suspected...

...not a great difference on the scales today. Even before waking up I was dreaming that I stood on the scales...in my dream I had gained, at least reality was slightly better! I've lost 0.1kg since last week, so pretty much standing still. Well I knew it didn't I...even tho the end of the week shaped up quite well with the food and activity, the start was poor! So full focus on this week, and the good news is no travel or boozy social events planned. 

Got a walk in this morning, and going for a run tonight. Hopefully the sprints will kickstart the week's weightloss! 

Also need to plan my yoga session for the week - the final one. On my walk in this morning, I was thinking about what benefits the variation of activities could have for my weightloss. I wonder if there's any added benefit to changing exercise types every month, maybe that will stop the body from getting used to the extra strain since the different types of training activate the body in different ways? Dunno...sort of makes sense to me. 

Was also thinking about something I read recently, which was specifically about the benefit of playing badminton (or squash) for young women - apparently it helps build stronger bones. Not all types of exercise does, but since badminton subjects the bones to fairly hard impacts when running and turning quickly, stop/starting around the court, this benefits the skeleton. Interestingly running does not have the same effect, the impact is too low. A Swedish school is currently testing this theory on their students, letting one group of girls playing badminton every day, and then comparing to a test group who only have their normal PE twice a week. And so far the results have been quite dramatic - a big improvement in bone density for the badminton girls compared to the control group. The benefits of this type of exercise are greater the younger you are when you start of course, but I'm hoping it's not too late for me to improve my bone strength by the end of Feb ;)

Pipe dreams

Weekend summary:

Friday - went for a run, cooked good food, early bedtime.

Sat - met 2 friends for lunch and looong wander around Hyde park, then off to Burns night supper in Stockwell with some mates. (I had quorn mince with onions and peppers instead of haggis ;) ) Quite a bit of wine and whiskey consumed but pointed it all and I didn't go over by more than a couple of points, good job I went for the walk earlier that day!

Today - woke with slightly sore head at boyfriends house, went home and spent several hours procrastinating intensely...now finally finished tidying up my mess and hoovering, now on to what I really should have been doing - working! Oh these weekend work-sessions are boring me now...

One of the girls I met with on Saturday has given up her admin office type job and is now training to be a plumber! Wow! I'm so jealous. Ok so maybe I dont feel like plumbing is my calling in life, but the whole idea of escaping the office and doing something with my hands sounds so appealing. I've always wanted to learn a proper skill, be it welding, fixing cars or making clothes. But it's never felt like a real option to consider when thinking about careers. Hearing about my friend's training and the possibilities she will have once she's done has certainly given me something to think about....

Was meant to go for a run today as the past week in total hasn't been very good exercise wise, but since I've been delaying the work stuff I'm not sure I'll have time. Poor planning! My scheduled session today is a pretty hard sprint one and I'm not sure I'm up to it after yesterday's Burns night shennanigans. Might be best leaving it til tomorrow...

Not sure I'll see any progress at all on the scales tomorrow, I just cheated and stood on the scales and it's showing a slight gain, altho I normally weigh in the morning before breakfast. But seems likely I'll be on about the same as last week. Oh well - can't get away with eating like I did at the start of this week I guess :/ 

Hello little toes!

Did my 4th yoga session last night AND I COULD TOUCH MY TOES!! For those of you who are more flexible than a fridge to start with ,that might not sound like a great achievement but for me it's huge! I could only just touch them with straight legs, but that's about 20 cm further than I've managed to stretch since I don't know when! Usually the "touch your knees with your forehead and reach for your toes" stretch just has me grunting and flapping my arms 3/4 of the way down to the floor - so close but yet so far away. But yesterday, towards the end of the session, nice and warmed up, I had a close encounter with my long lost toes. It was a happy reunion :)

Also managed to fit in 1.5h walking yesterday, and had a really good day food wise (at last), so if I can keep this up for the rest of the week perhaps the scales won't punish me too harshly for my Amsterdam slip-up. Walked 45 min this morning in the pouring rain - had to make a temporary rain cover for my backpack with a plastic bag and sticky tape - and each tube station I passed I was longing to escape the rain and go underground on a dry, warm train! As a result I'm now sitting here with soggy feet, but I know the feet will dry and hopefully it will pay off on Monday. 

My friend has now also joined WW, and it's pretty good as we both want to loose the same amount of weight, and have roughly the same BMI. Plus she's also going to the Valentines ball which means we're both racing towards the same goals exactly! Meeting her for lunch and a walk around Hyde Park on Sat, can't wait! :)

Where did my routine go??

Yesterday I realised that of the last 6 days I've only spent one night in my house, in my bed. This break from routine, with travelling and staying at my bf's and friends, has not been good for trying to maintaining healty habits. Seems I'll jump on any excuse to stray from the WW path! 

Amsterdam was as usual not great food wise. I really need to figure out how to cope with travel and other unexpected scenarios where I don't have full control over the food or where I'm tempted by alcohol or unhealthy food. When I travel I just seem to be hungry all the time an not able to control my eating, giving in to any temptation that crosses my path. Also, in the past 6 days there's only been one proper exercise session, which was running on Sunday. I managed to get an hour walk in last night, but that's it. So today I'm trying to steer back to my beloved routine (just in time for the weekend....sigh). Got up early this morning to fit in a walk before work, and now having porridge breakfast al desco. Tonight it's time for yoga - session 4 of 5 before it's time to swap activity! Since tonight is the first time I'm doing proper exercise this week I'm going to try to fit another 2 sessions in before the week is over. Perhaps try and run on both Friday and Sunday...might help the Monday morning weigh-in :)

I need to keep the Valentines ball in my mind as a motivation to keep the weightloss going. If I'm going to be able to wear what I'm planning to then I want to feel comfortable in my skin. I just have to try and focus for the next 3 weeks...what if I could do 3kgs in 3 weeks...that would be amazing...altho I have a feeling I'm not going to see much change on the scales on Monday given the poor start to this week!!

Monday results

Despite a pretty bad weekend food-wise, with lots of socialising and partying, the scales were kind to me this morning! Minus 0.7 kg which isn't alot but still in the right direction. I did go for a run on Sunday morning and payed my repects to the Gods of Dance on Sunday afternoon so I guess that should also count as exercise (altho I think the best I can hope for is that it counteracted the alcohol consumed...). But I managed to stick to vodka+soda and didn't go overboard in any way, so all in all a pretty sensible finish to the weekend. Ish. 

I seem to be surrounded by all these amazing ladies at the moment - it's as if they are flocking to our group of friends and I feel quite blessed to be around all this talent and wit and downright stunning beauty. They are turning my head and I'm loving it! We're all going to this fancy dress ball in Feb so that will be a good motivation to keep on track weight-wise...going to save the costume shopping for the weekend before in the hope that I can go down a size....hmmmmm wonder if it will work??

Anyways here's my updated progress chart....is it a trend I see??

I can't remember where I live

Went straigth to friend's house from work yesterday. Had a lovely dinner with lots of laughs and a few too many glasses of wine. The room was spinning a tad when I woke up this morning. We stayed over as they live so far out of London, so at least we didn't have to worry about dragging ourselves home in that state....maybe that made it easier to indulge ;) On my way home today I suddenly changed my mind and decided to go in to the office. Have a couple of docs I need to write and I know I'm crap at getting anything done at home. I'm blessed with working in a nice big airy office, lots of space, biiiig windows and a brilliant view of the Soho rooftops, so it's not like I'm stuck in a dustmite-grey cubicle underground. But still. Office on a Sat. And I've not even been to my house this weekend! And tonight it's The Raclette of Doom. I really don't feel like it...just want to go home and chill. Going to go straight there from the office as it's not too far from here, much more of a trekk from my house. 

So due to my hangover today the food has gone completely out the window. Also I think the thought of the cheese fest that awaits this evening makes me think "what's the point - this day is screwed anyway". I know that's not true...but you know how it is. I will make an effort to have a sensible one tonight anyway - need my sleep and some downtime before the birthday celebrations tomorrow. Anyways, there's one person who I'm very much looking forward to meeting tonight, I hope she's still coming *drool*

The hostess from last night is in to ashtanga yoga. Sounds hard core! She's trying to convince me to try a session with her, but I'm not sure I'm up to it. (Nothing to do with the fact that it starts at 7 in the morning...no....not at all...) 

Oh I've decided to add a yoga session to January. since it's got 4 and a half weeks. So 2 more to go before it's time for badminton!

Progress

This is for me...gotta get that graph pointing steeply down again! 

Third yoga session done!

Went to yoga last night and had a really good day points wise. I'd cooked a big batch of WW spicy sausage pasta dish the night before so all I had to do was warm it when I came home - and only 3 points per serving :) Yoga was great - altho I was still quite stiff from my run the other day so I didn't feel as supple after as I did last time. But I'm sure it's helped work some of the stiffness out of my legs. It's quite embarassing really how unflexible my hamstrings are compared to the other people in the class. But I can only do what I can, right? 

Oh something funny happened in class - I've always been paranoid that it would happen to me - someone farted while holding a particularly strenous posture. I know I know it's very childish - but it made me giggle (not outloud mind, I managed to keep a straight face). I'm not surprised it happens every now and then at yoga, but I still think it's funny....and I pray it will never happen to me! It's enough that my belly was rumbling really loudly at the relaxation cause I was hungry...

So now I've only got one more yoga session to go until it's time for the next sport. Altho I realised I'm a bit off on the weeks - there's 2 weeks left of January. So perhaps I'll add a yoga session...hmm will see. 

Woke up with a headache today, and it's still lingering...think it must be the weather. Very heavy skies in London today. But hey, it's Friday! Got lots of socialising coming up this weekend...hmm and lots of eating and drinking...dinner tonight with friends (pretty health conscious people so I'm sure they'll serve something delicious but with lots of veg etc). But tomorrow is the killer - raclette.....bring on the cheesy goodness!! Wonder if I can fit a run in beforehand?? Then going clubbing on Sunday (insane, I know) but it's an afternoon thing and I'm going to have to be very good as I'm flying to Amsterdam on Monday morning. There is no way I'm getting on a plane with a hangover. We're going out for a friend's birthday, and everyone else has taken Monday off, so I might be the only one trying to stay sensible....give me strength!!

The veggie secret (shhhhhhhh don't tell the meat eaters)

I've been veggie for 2 years now. It's an environmental thing rather than animal rights (altho of course that's a nice side effect). The most telling example for me is the fact that according to a study by the FAO you'd save more water by not eating a hamburger than not showering for a whole year. Anyway, I won't subject you to any more propaganda as you're probably glazing over by now... ;)

So basically I still quite like traditional meat dishes, and I'm very happy that there is lots of stuff to replace the meat so I can still cook my favourite meals. Quorn is one such product, which comes in all sorts of formats, like mince, "chicken style bits", sausages, escalopes etc. So what I tend to do is log on to the WW recipe catalogue and look through "normal" meat recipies, then edit them to replace the mince, sausages, chicken breast or whatever with quorn. And here comes the bonus - it saves points!!

For example  

- Bolognese sauce with extra lean beef mince - 4 points per serving

- Bolognese sauce made with quorn - 2 points per serving

- Spicy sausage and pepper pasta  (WW recipe) -4.5 points per serving

- Spicy VEG sausage and pepper pasta - 3 points per serving 

It might look like a small difference but when you're struggling to stay within your points (like I do every day...) then those extra couple of points saved come in very handy! So that's my tip of the day ;)

Time for bed, night night!

London fog strikes again

Was supposed to be in Amsterdam today with work, but the fog put a stop to that plan. No planes were leaving the airport this morning, so the trip was cancelled. Soooo happy I got up at 5.30am for nothing...*groan*

Travel is a big food trap for me - I never seem to be able to find or choose the healthy options when I travel with work. And when we get the early flights we always have breakfast together - inevitably something like fry-up or a toasted sandwich with lots of cheese...This morning my boss was hung over so fry-up was on the menu - I had some scrambled egg and beans on toast. Not calculated the points for it yet but it wasn't a huge meal so think it should be ok. But then after the flight got cancelled and we had returned to the office someone served chocolate birthday cake and I ate a slice without blinking. Hm wonder what the points value for that would be? Think it was probably due to me being really sleepy at that point and craving a sugar kick. That or just not thinking! At least I'll save myself the mandatory post-meetings-beer at the airport tonight...

Went running last night instead of doing yoga (was late leaving work so was too late for the yoga class). Did a heart rate session which today has left me in agony. It included 400 m sprints at 90-95% of my max heart rate - hard work! I'm absolutely not a natural sprinter so it was not easy to do all the reps I was supposed to (not even that many - only 4!). The first one was fine, but in the others I lost power half way through, each time. But can really feel it all the way through my legs and also in my abs and sides, which is great! Normally don't get sore abs from plodding along at my normal jogging pace. After the sprints I was supposed to jog back for 10 min or so at 65-70% heartrate, but it just wouldnt go down! Even when I was just walking it stayed above 70%. I guess it must have strained the body quite a bit. Also I've not done a proper max heartrate test so the rates it's using might not be totally spot on. 

Tonight I'm going to have an early night....aaaah sleep...!

Back in the Big Smoke

Back in London after a wonderful weekend in Stockholm. It was the first time all the girls were in the same place at the same time for I don't know how many years!! It was sooo nice to see them all again. I've got 3 childhood friends who I'm still very close to, but we've all managed to scatter across the planet (Germany, UK, Sweden and Australia) so our chinwagging sessions are few and far between. But this weekend it was time for Johanna's graduation so we all managed to get to Stockholm for the event. We're all quite different and pursue completely different paths in life so it's always great to get their various perspectives on things. I came back to London feeling inspired and revived. Altho seeing my friend's complete bliss over the carreer path she is on, makes me wonder what I'm doing with my time! I also want to feel like pinching myself everytime I go to work, of sheer disbelief that I get to do what I do for a living! That's very far from where I am right now...

I think in general this weekend has made it clear to me that I need to inject a bit more pure, childish joy in to my life. It's all to much work and too little play at the moment. I used to do a lot of music related stuff in my free time when I was back in Sweden, but since moving to London I've just let that all disappear. Time to get a bit creative again I think. Saw (or heard rather) a fantasic choir perform while in Stockholm, and that made me miss the old singing days...I'm so rusty now tho, I wonder if I'd find a choir that would have me!

No exercise whatsoever this weekend, and been drinking and eating whatever I've felt like. But as the week before was pretty good I wasn't sure what to expect on the scales. I was extremely surprised to see that I've gone down to 71.7 kgs, which makes the total weightloss 5kgs! I'm back on track it seems! :D

Tonight I will try to go to yoga - depends a bit on work as I was away from the office yesterday and will be travelling tomorrow. Would be great to some form of exercise though. 

This morning didn't start very well from a points perspective - was in a meeting where we were served pain au chocolat and croissants. I had one of each (it was a 4 hour meeting...) and it added up to 17.5 points!!!!!! So I'm barely allowed to eat for the rest of the day....yay....

And on that note, it's time for lunch. Hmmm I  think today I will have an air and dust omelette with water and gravel...

FAIL

Eeeeeerm so looking back at my previous post and then looking at what happened yesterday evening and this morning, I can safely say there's no need to worry about me over-exercising. Ended up going to the pub "for one" with work last night - how the hell did that happen?? Ok I didn't have any beer at least, but 3 LARGE glasses of wine which is really rather a lot! And despite not staying out too late, I had the compulsory fast food meal on the way home. And did I go swimming this morning? Did I f....

So now off to record yesterday's extravagance in my online WW account. What a silly girl I am.

Working from home today as I'm flying to Stockholm this evening. Realised I'll have to leave the flat at 4, and also have haircut at 1, so better get a move on with everything I need to finish before leaving!!

Breaking the habit of breaking the habit

So in the back of my head I'm worried that this thing I'm doing now, this one-month-commitment thing is just going to be a repeat of what I always do. I mean in the past 10 days I've done loads of exercise (for me): walking 1,5h x 3 days, running twice, yoga twice, and I'm suppose to run again tonight, and go with the boyfriend to the pool tomorrow morning. It feels great, and I'm happy to be exercising, but my problem has always been too much too soon, I burn out and loose interest. I just find it so damn hard to pace myself, it seems to be nothing, nothing, nothing then everything at once and then I get so sick of it I don't move a muscle for 3 months. 

I'm really hoping that the variety I'm getting this time will mean the boredom won't set in like it normally does. I guess the important thing is that I need to just keep moving, no matter what. 

I read somewhere that it takes 6 weeks to create a new habit. Maybe that should be my primary goal, to just keep moving for 6 weeks and by then hopefully it will be part of my life, like brushing my teeth or checking the door is locked 3 times before leaving the house ;)

Half way done with Yoga-January!

Went to yoga last night and it was quite different to the intro session! I got there really early as I suspected that there would be a January rush and perhaps the class would be full. Well as it turned out there were only 7 people in the class, so plenty of space and no need to get there so early. Good to know for next time.

So the class itself – pretty full on! It was very enjoyable. I didn’t attempt any headstands, but I’m proud to say I managed a full wheel! Altho that was a bit of a strain on my lower back – but no aches from it today so all good. Was in a pretty special state at the end of it – felt incredibly loose limbed and relaxed, and on the verge of giggles for a few hours after!

So as I was resting on the floor in the final relaxation at the end of the session, the familiar thoughts began to buzz around my head like fruit flies: “This is great! I should sign up! I’ll go 3 times a week and I’ll be super fit! I could take a course! Go on one of the yoga retreats! Hm I wonder what India is like this time of year?” See this is what I always do. Get completely carried away, and then interest wanes over the course of the next few weeks….so I snapped out of it this time, knowing that there would be a new thing to get excited about next month. And you know, I could always continue with yoga if I really get in to it. There’s nothing stopping me from doing the odd drop-in session now that I know where and when to go!

My mood has been on top form this morning - did the morning walk before work (3rd time this week!) and feeling pretty damned good! Now just have to get the food under control and the weight SHOULD start going in the right direction again...

The snow is falling, my weight isn't

Oops seems I've put on a little bit more this week - I'm now up to 73.4 kgs. Well I'm not too surprised, not been counting points for about 3 weeks! But back on it again today - and with the shops full of special offers on healthy food, I've already bought my lunches for this week. Should cut some temptation hopefully. At least I've kept tracking my weight - normally I'd just go lalalalalala and "forget" to weigh myself once I'd started falling off the wagon. 

Anyways - had a good start to the day today, did my morning walk, and will do another one this evening. My commute to work is normally train ride to Waterloo, then tube the rest of the way. Since a couple of months back I've started getting off at Waterloo and then walking the rest of the way to the office, and then the other way back in the evening. It takes about 40 minutes each way, and it's a really nice start to the day. I get a coffee on the way and I end up arriving to the office feeling awake and ready for breakfast (if not for work...). Another bonus is that I don't have to fight the masses on the Tube. The train is bad enough, but at least it's above ground and a lot nicer trains than the underground ones. So will be trying to get back in to that habit again. It's a bit of a struggle as it involves getting up earlier tho! I'm lucky I've got my sunrise lamp...otherwise I'd never be able to get out of bed on a dark (snowy!) winter morning like today!

Activity swap

I've decided to swap swimming and badminton, so the activity for February will be badminton. This is simply because I'm not sure if I'll still be in London in March - and if I'm in Amsterdam by then I might not be able to find someone to play with as I don't really know anyone there. In a week or two I will have to start making dates for badminton with some friends - I've got no idea where my nearest court is!

Frosty walk

No running or yoga today, but spontaneously walked 3/4 of the way home from the city, which is a fair bit, took almost 2 hours. It was freezing cold so we warmed ourselves with some Italian style, thick hot chocolate (with whipped cream on top - oh yes).

Went in to town today to splash out on something I've wanted for a good while - a "baby SLR" digital camera. 

It looks sort of like the step inbetween a compact and an SLR, with a slightly bigger body and a pretty massive zoom for such a small camera. Got some vouchers from work for xmas, otherwise I wouldn't spend that kind of money on a gadget - but since my old compact has decided to die I don't really have a camera (apart from on my phone, which is rather crap). I'm thinking with the upcoming move and various holidays there's going to be a few things I'd like to be able to document. And I need to collect stuff to keep myself busy when I move to my new city, where I don't know anyone! Is taking a picture of someone a good way to start a conversation or would it just piss them off I wonder...? 

Anyways, the only one they had left was the display model - which is fine with me - there were no scratches or anything like that. I was ready to pay and go, but my camera savvy friend who I'd brought with me for buying support spotted that there was a tiny speck of dust underneath the lens. That's not something which can be easily removed, and it would show up as a black spot on every single picture I'd take...plenty annoying. So now I have to wait for the shop to order a replacement. Oh well - the sales guy said there is a chance the price might come down by the time I get it - fingers crossed. I don't mind having to wait a bit longer as I had no idea I would be able to buy it until I got the xmas present from work, so it was an unexpected bonus anyway. 

 I'm supposed to do yoga tomorrow - they do a beginners drop in session at 7pm - but since I finish work at 6pm and have nearly an hour commute I suspect I won't make that one (unless I can somehow manage to finish early on the first day back from the holidays - fat chance). So that means I'm going to have to go to the standard drop-in class and not the easy one. Oh well...will just have to do my best I suppose! 

First yoga session completed!

Despite my nervousness of going to a new activity by my self (I'm such a chicken) I did it, I went, and it was alright. I've passed this yoga place every time I'm going to the shops and it looks pretty unassuming from the outside. Once inside it opens up to a courtyard with lots of plants and a water feature in the middle of a tiny pond. All very zen. In the changeroom I found out I'd done everything wrong when reading the helpful sign on the wall:

- Dress modestly, no bare shoulders, midriffs or legs (I was wearing a singlet and 3/4 trousers)

- Bring your own yoga mat (didn't bring one) or place a towel over the borrowed yoga mat (didn't bring a towel)

- Don't bring any food or drink in to the studio (I swiftly stuffed my water bottle back in the bag)

Luckily, the session I was going to was for complete yoga newbies, and no-one scorned me for my indecently exposed shoulders or for sweating on the borrowed yoga mats. 

Actually there wasn't very much sweating at all. The teacher (a very soflty spoken American man in bright orange clothes and glasses that made his eyes look disproportionarly large) spoke for a few minutes on the history and benefits of yoga. He stressed that it was not a competition (phew) and that everyone worked only to their own ability. We then proceeded to do various breathing and relaxation exercises, before moving on to doing 7-8 basic yoga postures. I think I did alright on most of them, altho my hamstrings are embarassingly tight. I can barely sit with my legs stretched out straight in front of me, let alone grab my toes!

Will be interesting to see how I feel tomorrow, if I feel like I've used my muscles or if there is no difference. Now I must plan the next session - I'm away next weekend so it will have to be during the week. 

Oh, and I have to come up with a list of rewards for completing each month. I think I know what the first one will be - buying myself the next Brain Training game for the Nintendo DS....it's sooo addicitve!! I can't decide if I should have both rewards and punishments for completing/not completing the month. I'm thinking some really good rewards will work better than some punishment that I'll find a way to get out of...

Yoga nerves

Off to my first yoga session in a few minutes. I'm nervous!! I failed to get a friend to come with me so it's just me...worried I'm about to make a complete fool of myself. So inflexible! I don't know if it's just nerves or something else, but have been in a bad mood this morning, feeling really irritable. So perhaps yoga is just what I need! 

I CAN run faster, but I'm heart rate training!!

So this evening I did session 2, week 1, of my 5 week heart rate program. The first two minutes was warmup, so I was supposed to keep a heart rate of about 50-60%. Fine. Then I was supposed to run for 25 minutes with a heart rate of 65-70%. When I run at my normal pace my heart rate is 80-85%. So to stay below 70% I had to plod along slower than an arthritic grandma - it was embarassing! I'm thinking about printing a t-shirt for my HR sessions which says both at the front and back "I can run faster really, but I'm heart rate training!". I hope it has some effect despite me barely breaking a sweat. I guess what it means is that I'm not very fit, otherwise my heart rate wouldnt be that high at such gentle exercise? 

It might be a good thing tho - I don't want to be too stiff for yoga tomorrow...

Happy new pizza slice

The only thing I've eaten so far this year is pizza. What a great start! Slept most of yesterday to recover from the new years eve party. Had a fab time I must say! When we woke up we ordered a pizza which was devoured in front of the tv, then back to bed. Had leftover pizza for breakfast today...oh well!

I've found a yoga place not far from my house, which offers free trial sessions for beginners on Saturdays. So tomorrow at 2pm I'm gonna hit the yoga mat and get me some of that stretchy action!

A while back I bought a Polar heart rate monitor (this is when I was well in to my running...for a month and a half...), but I've never really bothered to learn the theory behind it so it's mostly been sitting in a drawer, neglected. Well I brushed up on my heart rate monitor skills and took it for a spin the other day. It was the first run since some time late October, so the gentle approach of heart rate training suited quite well. I've found a 5 week program that's supposed to improve my time over 5K. I don't really care about that right now, I just want to slowly get in to the running again, and make some use of the £80 gadget that I for some reason bought! On the 16th of May I'm running the Gothenburg Half Marathon, which is now the biggest in the world with over 53,000 runners. I've done a half marathon before without training properly, and while it can be done, it's certainly not a lot of fun!! Oh the pain when you've reached 13km, feeling like you're about to die, and you've got 7km to go! I'm not having that again. 

I might take to the road this afternoon, gently gently as I'm still in recovery mode. But that's what's so great about running with the HR monitor - it forces you to pace yourself so in theory over-exerting yourself should be more difficult. We shall see. 

I'm about to hit the shops soon - got some Selfridges vouchers to spend. I hate big department stores, but as what I have in mind is found in the technology department where the bargain crazy women rarely tread, I hope I won't get trampled on.